But first... rewind a bit to half an hour earlier. I had no idea what was about to happen. In fact all that I knew was that it was the middle of the night and I was bursting for the toilet...
I knew that I'd have to do something about it, I checked my phone... 2.30 am... no way I was going to last through to the morning. Rousing myself to a half somnbulant state I threw a shirt over my head figuring no-one would be about, and my boxers would be fine... I undid the zip of my tent and climbed out, looked around... As expected there was no-one about, the sky was clear but the weather was unusually warm for the time of year. If necessary the half moon would have been sufficient to light my way, but I was in a caravan park and there were lights scattered around the place, pools of colour in the monochrome setting of the night...
I slipped on my sandals and walked quickly to the toilet block. The urgency of my bladder was building now and I reached the urinal and made use of it, feeling the full relief that accompanies the act of pissing. I was just going to finish up and head back to my bed when I heard a strange hoarse breathing sound. It was coming from somewhere near the back entrance of the toilet. At first I didn't think anything of it, and was on my way back to my bed, when the thought popped out of my sleepy head that I should maybe investigate and see where the noise was coming from...
As I wandered round the corner of the block it took me a while to figure out what I was seeing. In a pool of light there was an old guy, half sat up, with blood on the floor around him...
My first reaction was shock... I ducked behind the corner of the building again! It seems a strange reaction to me now... Wouldn't the first instinct of anyone in that situation be to rush forwards and help the old guy?
Maybe part of the reason was my old first aid training courses... they always gave the advice that the first decision on finding someone in that situation would be whether to walk away or not... The reasoning being that if you tried to help someone and they died, or recieved injuries as a result, then you were opening yourself up to being sued by that person or their relatives... A sad inditement of our society when a good samaritan can be sued for not being good enough!
Enough with the excuses though... I was only in this state of shock for a couple of seconds before rounding the corner again and walking up to this fella. He was clearly alive... it was his heavy breathing that alerted me to his state, but the closer I got I could tell that he was in a pretty bad way. He had half clotted blood dripping down the side of his face and over his arms and hands, and he stunk pretty badly of booze of some kind, as well as a general smell of body odor and decay... I called out to him "Are you OK?"... A pretty silly question on reflection, and fittingly he kinda laughed and said "Oh, yea" in an almost sarcastic tone.
I crouched down next to him, the smell of booze almost overpowering at this point and tried to find out what state he was in, asking him a few questions which he answered reasonably well enough, if with a bit of a slur to his speech. I decided to help him to his feet, reaching under his arm-pits, asking if he was ready, and hauling him up into standing position. I asked him a few more questions; Where was he staying? How was he feeling? Did he want to get cleaned up a bit? He told me he was going in a particular direction for a few drinks and he didn't need to get cleaned up at all... I wasn't sure about the drinks, but decided to help him to get where he was going, figuring that he was going back to his caravan. He led me off with me lending him my support when he occasionally staggered.
We soon arrived at a caravan that was about 15 meters away. He started trying to open the door of it, and I realised that he was having some difficulty, but a light had come on inside the caravan, which I hoped was someone that he was staying with that could help him out. I asked him at this point "So, is this your caravan" to which he replied that he was just coming here to have a few drinks with a friend... More drinks were the last thing that this guy needed at this point, and it seemed highly unlikely that the occupants of the caravan wanted to have any drinks either, which was confirmed when a guy opened the door and told the old man to "bugger off you old bastard!"...
He then closed the door on us again... So here I am, dressed in a shirt and my boxers, with an old guy who was clearly pissed and injured... I really had no idea what to do at this point... I tried asking the guy again "Where is YOUR van?" to which he replied that he was fine, that he was just going to have a few drinks, and that I was a fine young lad for helping him out and thank you very much... At this point he was shaking my hand and It is at this point that I let my uncertainty and indecisiveness get the better of me...
I just agreed with him, "No problem" I said. "I'll just be getting to bed then" I said. And I walked back in the direction of my tent. I stopped off at the toilet to wash the blood off my hands and arm where he had grabbed hold of me and made my way back to my tent and got inside...
Now this is where this little story started, but it isn't the end... My head was reeling at this point. Should I have done more to help this guy? He was clearly in no state to look after himself, but on the other hand if he wouldn't tell me where he was staying then what could I do for him? Should I have phoned the police? An ambulance? The caravan park owner? I hoped that the guy would make his own way back to his place, but a part of me knew that this seemed unlikely. Should I have put on my shorts and gone back out to find him? Made sure he got back? Or failing that called the emergency services?
To my great shame I have to admit that I did nothing at that point... Even asking myself "What would a Real Man do?" didn't help as my brain refused to process the question... Eventually I just took off my shirt and lay down under my duvet and hid... Some Real Man!
As I was trying in vain to get to sleep I heard footsteps coming past my tent to the caravan park office that is only a few meters from my camp spot. I heard the phone ringing, that I knew was connected to a handset that the caravan park owner had with her at all times. As the footsteps headed past my tent again I heard a woman on them explaining "... he was totally pissed, just crashed into our van..."
I guessed from this that the guy had managed to make it to someone elses caravan and either made some noise outside, or opened it and wandered in and the owners had taken more action then me and decided to call the caravan park owner. There was various activity after this. Cars driving around, stopping and starting. At one point I heard the caravan park owners voice shouting "No Pat! Just sit down! Sit down!"...
Then another car arrived, and all of the cars drove off and there was silence...
The whole time this was happening I was feeling guilty that I had caused these other people to be disturbed in the middle of the night... ut my overwhelming sense was one of relief. First that the guy was ok. That someone else was dealing with him. And secondly that it was no longer my problem...
The reason that I tell you all this is to show that for all my fine qualities I still have a lot of growth to go in some areas. I was going to give you a breakdown this week of my strengths and weaknesses, take every aspect of being a Real Man given in th last post and given you how I fit into it... But I figured that this story gives you a much better idea of some of my weaknesses (and maybe strengths) then any breakdown that I could give you... (Breakdown t come next week ;^)
For some reason the resolution didn't help me to get to sleep that night. I slept fitfully at best. The question going round and round in my head... What would a Real Man have done...
Well? What would YOU have done?
I actually don't know what a real man would do because I'm not a man :P. But if this happens in Thailand, I think the person who is in your situation would help him until he got back to his van. I actually thought you got him back to his van (from your FB comment the other day).
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you did what you did. Actually I'm not surprised anymore. I met a few English men who have similar behaviours to yours until I'm not sure whether it's about the culture and the way of thinking or it's simply coincidence. Sometimes I also think it's about where ppl are from. Obviously, ppl from upcountry have better mind, less selfishness and maybe less fear LOL.
From your Real Man's theory after my comment, being kind, generous and helpful are not necessary. For me to help someone, it generally generates a good feeling of doing a good deed. Like I told you before, there are times you still help someone even though he/she doesn't ask you to or even he/she says no LOL. But this conflicts with what you are taught or at least what you told me.
In my opinion, I'm not sure what a real man shuold have done but if you have helped him until he got back to his van. You'll be admired. And I think most girls will like this man more. Anyway you get 6.5 out of 10 pts from me:-P Good attempt and good mind you have there!
Well personally I wouldn't have gone to check out the noise in the first place, but that's probably more of a female self-defense mentality :P
ReplyDeleteBut if I did find the old guy lying there in blood and rambling about going to get a drink, I might just go straight to calling the ambulance or caravan park owner rather than trying to help him to where he wants to go.
Firstly, again, personal safety issue (it's a drunk stranger, so you never know). Second, you'd probably feel better with more help and get things done quicker rather than trying to deal with it yourself (which wasn't suppose to be your problem to start with).
Nothing to feel bad about in my opinion.
I'm sure woman and man would react differently. I don't think I can carry a guy to stand on his own feet even though I have such "strong arms"...and maybe most of women can't lol.
ReplyDeleteI gave you 6.5 pts because I saw your story into 3 sections. If you helped that guy out until he found his place, then it's 3 out of 3. Maybe this is more about how far you would go to help someone out? :-)