A Real Man is calm, collected and confident:- I feel like this is one of my strengths... probably why I listed it first. My normal demeanour is pretty laid back, almost to a fault, and I'm not easily rattled. Having said that there are some areas that I could improve on in this respect. I am generally comfortable meeting new people, but larger groups of strangers make me nervous, and sometimes I allow this to stop me from meeting new people...
A Real Man is a leader:- I feel like I do ok in this area. It is something that I've been working on for some time now. Once upon a time I wasn't willing to take the lead, to make suggestions, or to put ideas out there. Now I'm much more comfortable doing this. I still have moments of apathy but on the whole if the situation calls for a leader then I am willing to step into that role and make a decision...
A Real Man has high self esteem:- This is another area that I have been improving on for a long time. Years ago I felt that I wasn't likeable. I thought I was ugly and that no-one would ever love me... Thank goodness those days are gone! I now have a healthy level of self respect. I am confident that I can handle most situations that life throws at me!
A Real Man takes action:- I think that this is a real weakness for me. I have a real tendency to let things slide if I can get away with it. My motto used to be “Why put off for tomorrow what I can put off until the day after that?”! My general laziness is something that I am going to have to work on. I am also guilty sometimes of collecting knowledge without acting on it. Paralysis by analysis I thik it is called...
A Real Man is motivated:- Motivation has been one of the missing factors from the equation of my life. I have been generally willing to drift along wherever the current takes me, not really caring too much where I end up. This has changed somewhat recently. First of all the “See the World” mission and now the “Real Man Project” mission are starting to motivate me in my life. Having said this, motivation is something that I'm still going to have to work on...
A Real Man is positive:- This is another area that I have improved immeasurably in the last 10 years. My self talk these days is almost 100 percent positive! I like to look on the bright side of life, and to see the best in things. I think one thing that I could do better in this area is to learn to communicate more positively, in such a way that leaves people feeling better...
A Real Man has integrity:- I feel like this is another of my strengths. I have always been honest to a fault. This doesn't necessarily mean that I always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (but who does that), but it means that in important matters I don't try to mislead people for my own benefit... only if it is particularly funny. :^p
A Real Man is always learning:- This is really a foundational point. After all, improving yourself means being willing to learn from experiences. This is also another of my strengths. I have always loved learning (sometimes too much, see “A Real Man takes action” above). Sometimes I get fixated on one world view, but I think that I've always been the type to admit that I'm wrong if someone can show me that I am.
A Real Man has strong body language and posture:- Generally I think I do ok on body language, but I can tend to become closed off from time to time. Crossing my arms or legs if I'm uncomfortable. My posture is worlds better then it used to be (just ask my Mum!) but I think my head leans forward sometimes. I also feel like I sometimes walk too fast, perhaps seeming uncomfortable. This is one of those areas where it is pretty difficult to self analyse so any input from people that know me would be much appreciated...
A Real Man speaks clearly and confidently:- I feel like I have a pretty good speaking voice, however there is lots of room for improvement. I know that sometimes I can speak kind of quietly, or mumble. I would also like to increase the range of my voice, with more expressiveness. I think my voice is often far too monotone!
A Real Man is well dressed and well groomed:- I don't feel like I do too badly in this area (in spite of what Jan says!). For my current life situation I dress pretty well, and keep my personal hygiene pretty well. However, one area that I am going to lump in here is my general fitness. I could definitely do to lose some body fat. I am around 187cm tall and weigh around 97kg. This puts me square into the overweight category. I could do to lose about 10kg and keep it off through a combination of eating less and exercising more.
Finally, a Real Man has a good balance in his life between work and leisure:- Right now I'm living the dream regarding work/life balance... I am travelling the world, working when I have to, which is not very much! This will become more of a concern when I settle back down to a non-nomadic lifestyle. This has never been too much of a problem for me though...
Writing this list is an exercise in introspection, and it is always difficult to do this objectively. If you think that I have been too kind or harsh on myself then let me know. Especially if I have been too kind! I need harsh criticism at this point that can give me a solid direction to go in. Without clear knowledge of my faults I can never fix them!
All feedback is useful.
Thanks guys.
A Real Man is calm, collected and confident:
ReplyDeleteUmm...there are some points I agree with these esp. calm. I do accept you are calmer than me. But I think you still easily get frustrated when ppl don't do things the same as you're telling to do. Like face to face situation. There were some times that you yelled at me when you told me to do sth but I didn't take action straight away. For example, when it rained on the first camping day, I was a bit puzzled you know. I'm (and the rest of the world) from the country we don't camp when it's raining while you think this is very normal. If you're calmer (and more considerate), then I wouldn't feel hurt. When a girl yells at a guy, it looks bad but when the guy yells at the girl, it looks worse...I think :^*
Sometimes it's my fault that I'm slow but I don't see how you're different from me if you act impatiently. I came from a hot-tempered person so my measurement is the person who is as patient as I am (right now) is normal and more than I am, then is truly patient and of course, really calm! lol
A Real Man is a leader:
You probably do OK as you said but you should be a good follower too. Sometimes, I observe you don't listen what I say. You can blame me for the same thing but I'm not a native speaker so when I receive a lot of info, I may not get it 100% but it doesn't mean I don't listen. (That's my excuse :P!) I actually know myself when I listen or not listen lol! I accept I can be quite a selective listener but in general, I listen to people's talk a lot!
For example, this is NOT an obvious one tho. When you drove and I navigated. I noticed you missed the turn and you complained that I didn't you to do but actually I had already told you 2 sentences ago! lol
A Real Man speaks clearly and confidently:
On one hand, when I re-met you in Oz, I just observed your voice is quite soft. Sometimes it's like you're muttering to yourself (That's what I do lol) but you actually speak something to me! And I think because you speak quite softly esp for a long conversation, your voice could become monotone. Also, that's why some ppl couldn't recognise your British accent because you sound soft which is not bad but just different from average guys. However, speaking quite softly could make people think you're shy or not self-confident.
On the other hand, I'm impressed that you can speak loudly without shouting. That's cool! But I know it takes a lot of energy to be at that level all the time! :D
A Real Man has high self esteem:
I didn't know you when you were 5 or 10 years younger but I think you love yourself in a good level and have high self esteem (Sometimes, I find this difficult to translate into Thai-not sure how we call it LOL) I even want to have high self esteem like you do.
Just want to remind to not love yourself until you become selfish.
A Real Man takes action:
Apparently you're lazy. You don't see dust and sometimes colours too! lol
The way you will become a real man to take action of what you think that will lead you to achieve the goal. Then one day you'll be "my" real man lol :P
A Real Man is motivated:
I think you're lack of self motivation because you don't have certain goals in your life. You don't like planning. As you said "..drift along wherever the current takes me" which sometimes I don't know whether this is good or bad. Maybe it's just different people's lifestyle because I have seen ppl in both cases and they all be happy. However, planning certain things have to done or it's better to be done.
One more thing, I think if you're self motivated, you will be enjoying whatever you're doing including works! And you may have a better idea what your future will be like :)
A Real Man is positive:
A Real Man has integrity:
You do well in these 2 aspects.
I finish for now! -_-"
Hi I've been reading your blog on and off. This 'real man project' is something that I've been thinking about loosely myself, but I've never put it into words
ReplyDeleteTo give you a bit of background, my Dad left when I was 8 years old. So I've never had a Father figure as such. Now I'm older I feel like he did me a favour as I've chosen my own roll models and continue to do so.
What I've been doing over the last few years is learn skills that I think a man should be able to do ranging from learning to fix a leaking tap or change a car tyre, to learning martial arts and trying to chat up women. Reading this back to myself it sounds a bit a lame and cringeworthy. Like I'm trying to be a superhero or James Bond or something so I'll shut up now. But this is making interesting reading so please keep it up